Saturday, January 19, 2008

Some equations....

Dominant force - Underhand tactics = Not so dominant after all.

Indian team spirit * Strong captain at the helm = Come thumbs up down under

World champion team / Soul searching = Looking up Kaptain Kumble's number

Talented youth + Time tested experience = Winning Combination

Salaam India :-)

Sunday, January 13, 2008

CAR! Aaru N(j)ano???

Picture Courtesy:

For those uninitiated to the mallu language; the title of this post means "CAR (huge exclamation) who me???" Why not; after all the Nano just costs a lakh. So now even njan (moi) can own a Nano.

According to the pundits Tata's new indigenous economic wonder is all set to give the 2-wheeler market a run for it's money. The overwhelming feeling is that people who are already poised to buy a car will not opt for a Nano now as it might be considered a step back. Hence the Swifts and the Santros can breathe easy for now. The natural target is the 2-wheeler owning junta who now have a chance consider the safety and capacity of 4 wheels over their trusty steeds not to mention the obvious pride at having doubled the number of wheels owned. Another obvious customer segment could comprise of existing car owners who might want a spare car but could not find a way of fitting it into the budget earlier. There will also be a set of hobby buyers but that will probably be a very small segment.

Although it is too early in the day to comment about the sucess of this venture one has a feeling that this category of economy class cars is here to stay and will herald new cost cutting and process improvement measures in the car manufacturing process. The Tatas have just lowered the bar for entry into the psuedo elite car owners society. Obvious business strategies by key competitors like Maruti would be to reduce the cost of the 800 to under a lakh.

Moving on to the other eco in this equation; the adverse ecological effects that Nano could probably cause. A low priced car could only lead to the increase in congestion and emission of CO2 equivalent gases. Estimations made in an article in the Economic Times suggests that in the next 5 years Nano will only attribute to an 8% increase in the CO2 levels. Not as drastic as a few might say.

For now let us wait and watch as to how the script unfolds for Tata's Little Wonder.

Also check:

With Cars in Reach, Indians Must Learn to Drive (January 11, 2008)

Four Wheels for the Masses: The $2,500 Car (January 8, 2008)

Happy Driving,


Chuckle chuckle chuckle... just felt like posting this.

This post will smack and reek of an overdose of narcissism. So roll out your tounges and unclog your nostrils if you want to enjoy it. Just kidding... This is just a self indulgent post which brinks on narcissism and is most definitely a waste of web space. Well actually it might not be that bad when you compare it with the ones featured on; absolute peaches a couple of them. Be sure to check out their archive while you are at it.

The post that follows this intro is a collection of one liners and multi-liners that I have used in order to divert attraction towards me and some of the noble causes I stand for (to be read as "increasing the readership of the Utopian Dream"). So here goes:

About Me

  • Some say I am a nice guy, some say I am goon material, some say I am funny, some say I am wierd... Yet some more say i am cute and there are a few who believe I am mean. Gosh are these ppl messed up or what... (Orkut, Blogger et al)

  • Rutting Rat, Strutting Frog... I am mad and I sleep like a log. (Shoutbox on Yahoo 360)

  • A bad poet, who cant sit quiet. mirror cracking material, waiting for an experience par surreal a lil loony a lil arse headed but, waiting for my "screw" like any nut (About me on Yahoo 360)

G-talk status a.k.a my worst (to be read as best) one-liners.

  • All projects are in the pipeline and I am in the drainage. (Self explanatory right??? Else gimme a call on +91-9886548049 and I will explain.)

  • Immortal Till I Die. (On one of those arrogant days when I felt that only death can stop me from getting what I want... much to the amusement of my boss)

  • Shit falls exactly when i forget my umbrella. (One rainy day when I forgot my umbrella, got shat on by a crow perched on the tree i selected to stand under, had a mailbox jampacked with work, a couple of absconding and a couple of aberrant resources all packed into one)

  • finally not @ ofc, chillin @ home , back @ ofc (the cycle hmmmm no the circle of my life a.k.a "A big zero")

  • bring on the champagne... (a message to ring in the year 2008... here is to all that did not happen in 2007)

  • no not really... (On days when my answer to any question you ask including "Do you use your brain at all?" would be "no not really"...)

  • Available... but at a price. (chuckle chuckle chuckle... Sumod you pervert)

That's all folks. These are the ones fresh in my mammary. I swear that I will keep this post updated with the latest. So come back for more if you haven't had enough already. Oh people, one more thing, if you see the above lines being used elsewhere then please get back to me before the actual owner of the line does.

Note: Any reference to any of my resources, bosses or animal friends is purely coincidental and not entirely intentional.

Adios ppl,
"Jack of one liners and master of none."

Monday, January 07, 2008

No monkey business this...

Enough said about the on field antics of a certain cricketing team. Let us leave it to the high priests of cricket to sort out matters between the two teams. Let's see how life as we know it will be affected by this incident:

Act 1 Scene 1

Some kids playing gilli-danda in a posh Indian village (somewhere in modern day Gujrat I am led to believe)

Bhajju: (patting Lijju's bottom) Oye... why in god's name is Simmu jumping around like a monkey. Has he got the crabs???

Simmu: Oh... teri maa ki aankh... tune mujhe bandar bulaya. Chal sarpanch ke paas u bloody homo.

Haggu: (He has just returned from a tour to the UK with a hangover... oops stopover in Australia) Good on u mate... Let's teach this bawstard a lesson.

Sachu: Arrey mere priya doston shanti rakho...

Yuvesh: Arrey yeh log kaise rakh sakte hain... Shantipriya toh mere saath hain... Nahin doonga nahin doonga (jumps around in glee and accidentally sits down on the danda... ouch !@#$)

Donu: Chokri gayee... chokri ke peeche bhaagte bhaagte naukri gayee... ab kahin yeh log mujhe team se nikal na de..... I should have stuck to tennis.... Bas paani bujhaye pyaas baaki all means loads of cash :-)

Kumbhu: Only one team is playing in the right spirit.

Pintu: You are right mate * hic * (Holding up his half empty bottle of Faujster)

Bhakki: What's goin on??? Who switched off the lights???

Bensu: Dunno yaar... let's ask Pintu, he is the only one with the right spirit.

Bhakki: Maybe imbibing some of that spirit will improve my eyesight. Wat say?

Bensu: Dunno yaar... let's ask Pintu bhaiya.

Someone switches on the floodlights and all of them make their way to meet the Sarpanch.

Act 1 Scene 2

A panchyat has been called. Everyone is present and case has been stated. The arrogant but just Sarpu as he is lovingly called is about to deliver his verdict...

Sarpu: Ladies and gentleman. The moment all of you have been waitin for. The verdict in the racial abuse case. And the talented player who came in second today is... Ladies and gentleman IT IS ......................................................................... time for a short break... Duh... Of course you are watching this on TV... Only our satellite can transmit these pictures direct into ur living room... So mere doston iss se jyaada kuch bhi mat wish karo....

Thankfully there is only one commercial... where a certain gentleman puts a part of himself... in his purplish magentaish brownish pink mailbox... the only problem is that he forgot his password... Now the poor guy can't take his part out... The poor AzwhOL..

Sarpu: Welcome back ladies and gentleman (winks knowingly at Sachu)... The votes are in and the verdict is out. You the junta found Bhajju guilty of racial abuse. We therefore sentence Bhajju to cough up a hefty sum of 2.3 dozen bannanas to the victim of this abuse.

Simmu, Pintu and their group of rowdy ruffians form a huddle and jump up and down for joy. Some of them pump their fists at the bystanders almost beheading some respectable villagers. It takes one back to the days when Ramayan used to be aired on national T.V. and Ram and his Vanar sena jumped up and down for joy after defeating the ten (or was it eleven) headed Ravana in an epic battle... Darn it's making me nostalgic.

Simmu: We won... Pintu bhaiya we won...

Sarpu: Not so fast my son. When did I say you won. I was talking about the complaint on racial abuse lodged against Bhajju by the village's favorite monkey Chimpu. He came to me before you found your way here and accused Bhajju of racially abusing and degrading him by comparing him to you. So the 2.3 dozen bannanas and our heartfelt apologies for this unfortunate incident to Chimpu.

The village erupts in joy... Pintu falls to the ground and starts retching... must be from an overdose of the right spirit.

Don't go away I will be back tomorrow with Act 2 of this critically acclaimed prime time hogging drama.